HOLY DESIRES
An 8-Week Program for Catholic Husbands
Holy Desires is where Catholic men learn to cultivate passionate, deeply satisfying, mutual intimacy in their marriage.
The Church teaches that "sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure" that fosters "joy and gratitude" and is a pledge of "spiritual communion" between husband and wife. (CCC 2360-62)
The average couple doesn't experience this beautiful vision in their love life.
Don't settle for average.
Great sex in Catholic marriage isn't a fantasy. It's what God wants for you. Holy Desires is a community of faithful Catholic men who will support you, pray for you, and remind you that you're not alone in any crosses that you carry.
Fall 2026 class is open for enrollment
Live calls are Wednesdays at 5 p.m. Pacific / 8 p.m. Eastern
Oct 7 - Nov 25
Hurry! Enroll by Oct 3
You know sex in marriage is supposed to be beautiful.
The Church says so. Your heart says so.
But what happens when your experience doesn't match up with that vision?
These are literally direct, anonymous quotes of exactly what men have shared with me:
"I feel lonely or alone, especially around intimacy, around sex."
"I'm stuck because talking makes her feel like I'm complaining and she's supposed to solve it by herself."
"I just want to be wanted."
"I feel sad and inadequate."
"Knowing that sex is an important priority actually causes the pressure which shuts her down."
“We felt like we were two passersby in this life under the same roof.”
If you struggle with any of this, or with other issues, I want you to know: you are not alone and you are not broken.
If you want your marriage to get closer to God's vision of mutual, connected, joyful sexuality, that's exactly what Holy Desires exists to help you with.
Hi! I'm Nathan.
Happily married for 26 years.
Father of 5 amazing children.
Two decades of service to Catholic couples
I'll be honest with you: when it came to sex on our honeymoon, my wife Sarah and I didn't experience the fireworks we were both hoping for. We felt confused and embarrassed. I thought I was failing as a man.
Nobody told us what to expect, what was normal, how to talk about it, or anything!
It took us years of awkwardly trying to figure it out on our own.
Now, after more than 26 years of marriage, our intimate life is better in every way than it was as newlyweds. God really does save the best wine for last!
It didn't just happen. It's because we prioritized our love and we made it happen with God's grace.
I created Holy Desires to give Catholic husbands a faithful and practical guide for cultivating a passionate, deeply satisfying love life in their marriages.
Don't feel stuck, discouraged, and deflated. The formation exists. The path is before your feet. And you don't have to walk it alone.
Don't take my word for it.
What Students Say:
I’m a lot happier with where I am with my intimacy and my ability to have those conversations with my wife than I was nine weeks ago."
- Spring 2026
It gave me such a strong sense of camaraderie with the other guys, knowing that I was not alone. Other Catholic men who struggle in a very sacrament-centered way — not because we [just want sex], but because we want to engage in beautiful, fulfilling marital intimacy with our wives. And that was really powerful to be part of that group."
- Fall 2025
There is more hope for us now than there's ever, like literally ever in the last 17 years that we've been together."
- Fall 2025
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! After 18 years, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. My husband came home from the call uplifted and wanting to connect — what a change. Your work is making a difference."
- From the wife of a Holy Desires student
I was very resistant to doing this course because I’m a dude and I know what I’m doing. But I don’t. It’s already made us more communicative. It’s changed the dynamic, I think, drastically.”
- Spring 2026
I’m a lot happier with where I am with my intimacy and my ability to have those conversations with my wife than I was nine weeks ago."
- Spring 2026
Connecting with the other guys, feeling like a band of brothers in this area that had been kind of isolated before, that’s a real gift for me that I’ll definitely carry forward.”
- Spring 2026
For the first time in our marriage, I’m seeing progress in our ability to communicate about intimacy.”
- Spring 2026 student
Theological Truths meet Practical Guides
Most Catholic writing on sex is theological and theoretical. It's beautiful and good and true, but it's not practical.
Holy Desires provides practical guidance which is faithful to the church to help you concretely live out those theological truths in the reality of your particular marriage.
Some of the practical guidance you'll receive includes:
5 steps to talking about sex
Learning to talk honestly with your wife about your marriage and about your sex life is not optional. Open and loving communication is the thing that cultivates spiritual, emotional, and sexual connection. Learn how to do it with a 5-step process for having your first productive conversation about sex.Sex in 3-acts
This framework for thinking about sex in three acts (foreplay, intercourse, and afterglow) teaches you how to give your beloved the right attention, words and touches at the right time.The 4 pillars of desire
Low desire and differences in desire are among the most common sources of frustration. The reasons for low desire all fall into four areas, the pillars of desire. If any of these pillars is not strong, desire can suffer. Each of these pillars can be worked on, but each in a very different way. This provides clarity, direction, and hope.Emotional Connection; Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Great sex is a fruit of a great marriage. You don't get a tasty fruit from a dying tree. The most important things you can do for you sex life happens outside the bedroom. Learn how to cultivate a heart-to-heart connection with your wife, and how to forgive each other when you need to.
What's Inside
HOLY DESIRES
A Formation We Walk Together
Holy Desires is built on three pillars: personal guidance from me, a brotherhood of Catholic men, and deep formation content. Here's how they work together over 8 weeks.
Weekly Group Coaching
You Are Never Alone on This Journey
Fall 2026 Group Calls:
Wednesdays, 5 p.m. Pacific / 8 p.m. Eastern
Oct 7 - Nov 25
Every week, you join me and your brothers on a live coaching call where we go deeper on the material, learn how to apply it to specific situations, and you hear from other men walking the same road.
This is a space where Catholic men can finally be honest about our struggles with intimacy. We are accepted, encouraged and strengthened. You'll realize you're not the only one. And you'll get real-time guidance for your specific situation.
Every call is recorded and you can ask questions for the calls ahead of time. Many men have made amazing progress without ever joining the calls live.
WHAT STUDENTS SAY:
"Thank you Nathan… I like your approach — very effective and I look forward to scheduling my personal session with you in addition to the group sessions. Again, thank you for your leadership & ministry"
The Brotherhood
A Private Community of Catholic Men Fighting for Their Marriages
Between calls, you have access to a private, ad-free community of men who are in this with you. This is a place to share wins, ask for advice, request prayer, and encourage each other.
The brotherhood doesn't replace the formation. It's where the formation takes root. When you know that other men are praying for you and cheering you on, you show up differently in your marriage.
WHAT STUDENTS SAY:
"It gave me such a strong sense of camaraderie with the other guys, knowing that I was not alone."
"Feeling like a band of brothers. That's a real gift."
The Formation
A Guided Journey Toward God's Vision
The coaching and brotherhood are where you'll be supported. The modules are where you'll be formed. Each one builds on the last, from clarifying the vision to practical skills to make real progress toward that vision. By the end, you don't just know more -- you have been transformed.
WHAT STUDENTS SAY:
"I wish I'd had this information decades ago."
“We were in therapy before we were married. We’ve been through so much therapy. And nothing, really nothing, has been as fruitful as taking these courses.”
Here is what your formation includes:
Begin Here
Your Starting Point
Start your experience of Holy Desires with a personal assessment. You'll get specific guidance tailored to where you're at. Whether your marriage is in a strong season or a hard one, you'll know exactly how to get the most out of the next 8 weeks.
Module 1
The Sacred Vision
This module dismantles 7 harmful myths about sex that we learn from Hollywood and the culture, and replaces them with the truth from the Catechism, Scripture, and the real design God has for your marriage. You'll walk away knowing that your desire for your wife is holy, not something to be ashamed of.
Module 2
Connecting Beyond the Bedroom
Great sex is one of the fruits of a great marriage. You don't get a delicious apple from a diseased tree. You don't get a passionate sex life from a marriage that's been on the back burner for past 12 years. Learn how to rebuild or strengthen the connection with your wife, which is the foundation of a joyful sex life.
Module 3
Learning to Talk About it
Most couples have never had a productive conversation about sex. This module gives you a 5-part framework for having your first productive conversation about sex — without shame and without it turning into a fight. Communication is not optional. This module has got you covered.
Module 4
Understanding Her Desire
This module explores how desire actually works — including the two kinds of desire, brakes-and-accelerators, and ideas for how to initiate in a way that works for both of you. You'll also learn practical strategies for making time and space for intimacy in the chaos of busy married life.
Module 5
The Art of Loving Well
Learn my framework for sex in 3 acts: foreplay, intercourse and afterglow. Get specific advice and ideas for each act: what to say, how to touch. This module is direct, practical, but always grounded in love and reverence. It's like real sex education, like no one else provides.
Module 6
Common Challenges
This module is a library of focused mini-lessons you can browse based on your situation. Topics include: performance anxiety, declining desire or performance with age (ED and PE), navigating NFP and abstinence seasons, when she experiences pain, and staying hopeful in a long difficult season. Go to what's relevant to you.
Holy Marriages Require
Spiritual Battle
Don't Fight Alone.
Bonuses
Resources to Support Your Marriage
In addition to the core formation, you'll receive these resources to go deeper where you need it most.
REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction
Porn rewires the brain in ways most men don't realize, even if you only watch occassionally. This bonus explores the neuroscience behind addiction, its effects on your expectations and performance, and practical strategies — grounded in both brain science and Catholic theology — for finding lasting freedom. Includes the 50+ page field guide.
The What's Allowed List
Is .... allowed? Get answer to more than 20 of the most common questions Catholic couples ask about what is morally permissible during sex, answered clearly and faithfully. Written by Sarah Bartel, Ph.D. in Moral Theology from the Catholic University of America (who happens to be my amazing wife!)
Communication in Marriage
Your complete guide to loving and effective communication in marriage, including research-based methods for managing conflict. These skills support the intimate conversations you'll learn in Module 3, and they'll improve every other conversation in your marriage and family life.
The Forgiveness Framework
We are sinners married to sinners. Hurt is inevitable. This framework teaches you exactly how to ask for forgiveness and how to grant it — including the 3 types of bad apologies and the elements of forgiving effectively. Essential for clearing the emotional weight that blocks intimacy.
Enroll Now for Fall 2026
Live Group Call Schedule for Fall, 2026
Wednesdays, 5 p.m. Pacific / 8 p.m. Eastern
Oct 7 - Nov 25
Holy Desires is an investment in something that matters for the rest of your life. Choose the path that's right for you.
Enroll by Saturday, Oct 3!
Holy Desires
The full 8-week formation experience
6 formation modules
Weekly group coaching calls with Nathan
The Brotherhood private community
All 4 bonus resources
Access to all materials until the end of the cohort
Your Investment: $117 / month (6 months)
Holy Desires Premium
Everything in Holy Desires, plus personal coaching and lifetime access.
Everything in Holy Desires
3 private one-on-one coaching sessions with Nathan
Lifetime access to all materials and future updates
Note: Limited to 10 spots per class
Your Investment: $167 / month (6 months)
Both options include the same formation, the same group calls, and the same brotherhood. Premium is for men who want deeper personal guidance and the freedom to revisit the material at any point in their marriage.
WHAT STUDENTS SAY:
"The value of this course is very high and worth every penny!"
~ Andrew
Questions you Might be Asking
I feel rejected by my wife. I've tried for years and nothing changes.
I hear you. That’s one of the heaviest crosses a husband can carry, and I want you to know that many men in Holy Desires have walked in with that exact feeling. Here's what I've seen: most of the time, the rejection isn't about you. It's about a dynamic between you that neither of you fully understands. Holy Desires gives you the space, the tools, and the support to dig beneath the surface and examine what's really happening — how her desire actually works, what may be blocking it, and what you can do differently that she will actually feel. I can’t promise she'll change. But I can promise that if you walk this journey with love and prayer, YOU will change. I've watched husbands change how they relate to their wives, and it can open doors that have been closed for years. There is hope. You don't have to keep carrying this alone.
We are basically roommates at this point. Is it too late for us?
No. It's not too late. I've worked with men who hadn't been intimate with their wives in months, even years. The distance feels like it can’t be overcome. But it can. The formation will help you rebuild your marital connection, friendship and love from the ground up based on real understanding and empathy. Honestly, it’s not a quick fix. It probably took years for you to get to where you are. It’s going to take some time to change it. But I want you to know that there is hope. If there's still a part of you that wants more for your marriage, that desire is worth following.
My marriage is in a really difficult place right now. Is this for me?
Yes. Men in all seasons and stages of marriage have gone through Holy Desires — from strong marriages that wanted to grow, to marriages in deep crisis. The formation meets you where you are. If you're unsure, reach out to me directly at [email protected] and we can talk about whether this is the right fit and timing for you.
I've struggled with pornography. Is this the right program?
Yes. Many men in Holy Desires have dealt with porn use — past or present. The REWIRE bonus addresses the neuroscience of addiction and practical strategies for freedom. The formation itself also helps by replacing a distorted vision of sex with God's vision. If you're in active addiction and need additional support and accountability, I'm happy to point you toward resources alongside the program.
Does my wife need to be involved?
No. Holy Desires is designed for you. Many of the breakthroughs men experience happen because they changed how they showed up — not because their wife did anything differently. That said, if your wife is interested in her own formation, Sarah's program My Delight is designed for Catholic wives.
Is the content explicit?
The content is direct and practical, especially in Module 5. I discuss anatomy, technique, and pleasure honestly, because vague advice doesn't help anyone. Everything is grounded in reverence for your wife and for the sacrament. There is no explicit imagery; there are some line drawings such as you might imagine would be in a medical or anatomy textbook. Think of it as the frank conversation you'd have with a trusted mentor who also happens to be a faithful Catholic.
What if I can't make the live calls?
Every call is recorded and posted within 24 hours. You can also submit questions ahead of time and I'll address them on the call. Many men participate by watching the replays, submitting questions separately, and participating in the community. They make just as much progress as men who attend the calls live.
How much time should I expect to invest each week?
Plan for about 2 hours per week: roughly 30–60 minutes of video content, plus the weekly coaching call (about 60 minutes). The rest happens naturally in your marriage as you practice what you're learning.
What's the difference between Holy Desires and Holy Desires Premium?
Both include the full formation, weekly coaching calls, the brotherhood, and all bonuses. Premium adds 3 one-on-one coaching sessions with me and lifetime access to all materials. Premium is limited to 10 spots per class.
Will everything I share be kept confidential?
Absolutely. What's shared on the coaching calls and in the brotherhood stays there. This is a space built on trust, and every man in the group is expected to honor that.
What is your refund policy?
Due to the intimate and personal nature of the material, all sales are final. I stand fully behind the formation, and I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] before enrolling if you have any hesitation. I'd rather help you decide before you invest than have you regret it after.
I have another question.
Reach out to me directly at [email protected] or reply to any of the emails you may have received from me. I'm happy to talk.
