HOLY DESIRES
An 8-Week Program for Catholic Husbands
God Wants More for Your Marriage
The Church teaches that "sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure." But most couples never experience that beautiful vision, held back by confusion, shame, past wounds, or lack of good formation
Great sex in Catholic marriage isn't fantasy. It's what God wants for you. Holy Desires is where Catholic husbands learn to reclaim the intimacy your marriage was made for.
Enrollment is open through March 20.
You know sex in marriage is supposed to be beautiful.
The Church says so. Your heart says so.
But what happens when your experience doesn't match that vision?
These are some of the things Catholic husbands have shared with me:
"We can't even talk about sex without it turning into a fight or getting super awkward."
"By the time the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, we're both too exhausted."
"I want to be a better lover, but I don't even know where to start. There is nobody I can ask."
"I used porn before marriage. (Or I secretly still do.) Will that shadow always be over us?"
"She never initiates. I feel unwanted, or selfish for even wanting it."
"My wife has a higher libido than me, and I feel broken as a man."
If any of this resonates with you, I want you to know: you are not alone and you are not broken.
Marriage is a journey, not a destination. So is creating a beautiful sexual relationship with your wife. We're all at different stages of our journeys in marriage. If you feel a holy desire to draw closer to God's vision of mutual, connected, joyful sexuality, that's exactly what Holy Desires exists to help you with.
Hi! I'm Nathan.
Happily married for 25 years.
Father of 5 amazing children.
Two decades of service to Catholic couples
I'll be honest with you: when it came to sex on our honeymoon, my wife Sarah and I didn't experience the fireworks we were both hoping for. We felt confused, embarrassed, and alone. I thought I was failing as a man.
Nobody told us what to expect. Nobody told us what was normal. Nobody told us how to talk about it. And we certainly didn't learn any of this in our marriage prep.
It took us months, even years of awkwardly trying to figure it out on our own. Over time, through prayer, honest conversations, a lot of humility, and a willingness to learn, things changed. Profoundly.
Today, after more than 25 years of marriage, our intimate life is better in every way than it was as newlyweds. God really does save the best wine for last! Everything is more passionate, more connected, and more joyful for both of us. Not because we're special, but because we prioritized our love and intentionally pursued the vision God had for our marriage, even when we didn't know the way.
In 2023, Sarah launched her program My Delight for Catholic wives. Since then, hundreds of women have told her the same thing: "I wish there was something like this for my husband."
That's why I created Holy Desires. No Catholic husband should have to spend years figuring this out alone, the way I did. The formation exists. The path is before your feet. You don't have to walk it alone.
Don't take my word for it.
What Students Say:
I appreciated learning about sex from the Catholic perspective. I can't imagine hearing these truths anywhere else — not from magazines or the locker room. There is such a need for these truths."
- Mark
It gave me such a strong sense of camaraderie with the other guys, knowing that I was not alone. Other Catholic men who struggle in a very sacrament-centered way — not because we're horny and want to get laid, but because we want to engage in beautiful, fulfilling marital intimacy with our wives. And that was really powerful to be part of that group."
- Dustin
I had no idea that afterglow is even a thing. Since I started putting afterglow into practice, we stay up and talk or even just cuddle. Making love is more fulfilling for both of us and makes both of us happier."
- Joseph
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! After 18 years, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. My husband came home from the call uplifted and wanting to connect — what a change. We are doing the morning prayer together now. Your work is making a difference."
- Maria , wife of a Holy Desires participant
Our marriage and sexual intimacy has been going quite well. We've had some setbacks and falling back into old habits, but we have grown and healed so much. God is working miracles through your ministry."
- Dustin, months after completing Holy Desires
The Formation You Never Received
Many men don't really know the Church's vision for sex. Even if you do, knowing how to bring it to life in your own marriage is a very different thing. Here is some of what that formation looks like.
The Church's teaching on sex is better news than you might think.
If your impression of Catholic sexual teaching is mostly a list of don'ts, you're not alone, but you're missing the best part. The Church actually affirms that sexual pleasure within marriage is good, beautiful, and willed by God. When men understand the difference between God’s vision and the myths offered by the culture, it can be incredibly freeing.
Her desire works differently. That doesn't mean it's absent.
Many men carry a quiet wound: She doesn't want me. The truth is more hopeful than that. Research shows that many women experience what's called responsive desire. Their longing for intimacy doesn't arrive out of nowhere the way it often does for men. It emerges in response to feeling safe, connected, and invited. When husbands understand this, the rejection they've been feeling often dissolves, and an entirely new dynamic in the bedroom becomes possible.
The most important thing you can do for your sex life happens outside the bedroom.
Great physical intimacy doesn't start with technique. It starts with learning to talk honestly with your wife about desire, pleasure, expectations, and fears, without shame and without defensiveness. For most couples in Holy Desires, open communication is the single biggest breakthrough. The conversations become easier, the emotional connection deepens, and mutual fulfillment in the bedroom follows.
She needs more time. And nobody ever told you.
This is one of the most common and most quietly devastating formation gaps. Most men (and even many women for that matter!) genuinely do not know how much time, attention, and presence women need in order to fully experience the pleasure God designed for them. She isn’t broken or “slow.” It’s how God made women. When men learn this and begin to practice it, the change for both spouses is profound.
What's Inside
HOLY DESIRES
A Formation We Walk Together
Holy Desires is built on three pillars: personal guidance from me, a brotherhood of Catholic men, and deep formation content. Here's how they work together over 8 weeks.
Weekly Group Coaching
You Are Never Alone on This Journey
Every week, you'll join me and your brothers on a live coaching call where we go deeper on the material, I answer your specific questions, and you hear from other men walking the same road.
This is a space where Catholic husbands can finally be honest and raw about the struggles we carry. It's a place where we can be accepted, encouraged and strengthened. You'll realize you're not the only one. And you'll get real-time guidance for your specific situation.
📆 Calls are held Saturday mornings at 8 am Pacific / 11 am Eastern
Can't make it live? Every call is recorded and posted for you. You can submit questions ahead of time and I'll address them on the call. Many men have made amazing progress without joining the calls live.
The Brotherhood
A Private Community of Catholic Men Fighting for Their Marriages
Between calls, you'll have access to a private, ad-free community of men who are in this with you. This is a place to share wins, ask for advice, request prayer, and encourage each other. No posturing. No judgment. Just faithful men who take their vocation as husbands seriously.
The brotherhood doesn't replace the formation. It's where the formation takes root. When you know that other men are praying for you and cheering you on, you show up differently in your marriage.
The Formation
A Guided Journey Toward God's Vision
The coaching and brotherhood are where you'll be supported. The modules are where you'll be formed. Each one builds on the last, from clarifying the vision to practical skills to make real progress toward that vision. By the end, you don't just know more -- you have been transformed.
Begin Here
Your Starting Point
Every man enters Holy Desires in a different place. Before the formation begins, you'll complete a personal assessment so I can understand your unique situation and you'll receive guidance tailored to where you are. Whether your marriage is in a strong season or a hard one, you'll know exactly how to get the most out of the next 8 weeks.
Module 1
The Sacred Vision
What does the Church actually teach about sex in marriage? Not the watered-down version or the list of don'ts — the full, beautiful, liberating truth. This module dismantles 7 toxic cultural myths about sex and replaces them with a vision rooted in Scripture, the Catechism, and the real design God has for your marriage. You'll walk away knowing that your desire for your wife is holy, not something to be ashamed of.
Module 2
Connecting Beyond the Bedroom
Great intimacy doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts with how you show up in the ordinary moments — how you listen, how you're present, how you connect with your wife emotionally and spiritually throughout the day. This module gives you the foundation that makes everything else in the formation possible.
Module 3
Learning to Talk About it
Most couples have never had a productive conversation about sex. This module gives you a practical framework for talking honestly with your wife about desire, pleasure, expectations, and fears — without shame and without it turning into a fight. You'll get specific conversation guides for real scenarios, including what to say when she shuts down or gets defensive.
Module 4
Understanding Her Desire
Why does she rarely initiate? Why does "not tonight" sting so deeply? This module explores how desire actually works — including responsive desire, the brakes-and-accelerators framework, and how to initiate in a way that works with her design rather than against it. You'll also learn practical strategies for making time and space for intimacy in the chaos of busy married life.
Module 5
The Art of Loving Well
This is where theology meets the body. You'll learn about the female arousal curve, why most men are moving too fast, specific foreplay techniques with step-by-step guidance, and how to be fully present to your wife during intimacy. This module is direct, practical, and always grounded in love and reverence — the formation no one else provides.
Module 6
Common Challenges
Not every challenge applies to every couple, so this module is designed as a library of focused mini-lessons you can browse based on your situation. Topics include: the lasting effects of pornography, performance anxiety, declining desire or performance with age, navigating NFP and abstinence seasons, when she experiences pain, and staying hopeful in a long difficult season. Go to what's relevant to you.
Holy Marriages Require
Spiritual Battle
Don't Fight Alone.
Bonuses
Resources to Support Your Marriage
In addition to the core formation, you'll receive these resources to go deeper where you need it most.
REWIRE: The Science of Porn Addiction
Even if you aren't a heavy user, porn rewires the brain in ways most men don't realize. This bonus explores the neuroscience behind addiction, its effects on your expectations and performance, and practical strategies — grounded in both brain science and Catholic theology — for finding lasting freedom.
The What's Allowed List
More than 20 of the most common questions Catholic couples ask about what is morally permissible during sex, answered clearly and faithfully. Written by Sarah Bartel, Ph.D. in Moral Theology from the Catholic University of America. Men consistently tell us this is one of the most freeing resources in the entire program.
Communication in Marriage
Your complete guide to loving and effective communication in marriage, including research-based methods for managing conflict. These skills support the intimate conversations you'll learn in Module 3, and they'll improve every other conversation in your marriage and family life.
The Forgiveness Framework
We are sinners married to sinners. Hurt is inevitable. This framework teaches you exactly how to ask for forgiveness and how to grant it — including the 3 types of bad apologies and the elements of forgiving effectively. Essential for clearing the emotional weight that blocks intimacy.
Choose Your Path
An Investment in Your Marriage and Your Vocation
Holy Desires is an investment in something that matters for the rest of your life. Choose the path that fits where you are.
The Spring 2026 class begins March 28. Enrollment is open through March 20
Holy Desires
The full 8-week formation experience
7 formation modules
Weekly group coaching calls with Nathan
The Brotherhood private community
All 4 bonus resources
90-day access to all materials
Holy Desires Premium
Everything in Holy Desires, plus personal coaching and lifetime access.
Everything in Holy Desires
3 private one-on-one coaching sessions with Nathan
Lifetime access to all materials and future updates
Note: Limited to 10 spots per class
Both options include the same formation, the same group calls, and the same brotherhood. Premium is for men who want deeper personal guidance and the freedom to revisit the material at any point in their marriage.
Questions you Might be Carrying
I feel rejected by my wife. I've tried for years and nothing changes.
I hear you. That’s one of the heaviest crosses a husband can carry, and I want you to know that many men in Holy Desires have walked in with that exact feeling. Here's what I've seen: most of the time, the rejection isn't about you. It's about a dynamic between you that neither of you fully understands. Holy Desires gives you the space, the tools, and the support to dig beneath the surface and examine what's really happening — how her desire actually works, what may be blocking it, and what you can do differently that she will actually feel. I can’t promise she'll change. But I can promise that if you walk this journey with love and prayer, YOU will change. I've watched husbands change how they relate to their wives, and it can open doors that have been closed for years. There is hope. You don't have to keep carrying this alone.
We are basically roommates at this point. Is it too late for us?
No. It's not too late. I've worked with men who hadn't been intimate with their wives in months, even years. The distance feels like it can’t be overcome. But it can. The formation will help you rebuild your marital connection, friendship and love from the ground up based on real understanding and empathy. Honestly, it’s not a quick fix. It probably took years for you to get to where you are. It’s going to take some time to change it. But I want you to know that there is hope. If there's still a part of you that wants more for your marriage, that desire is worth following.
My marriage is in a really difficult place right now. Is this for me?
Yes. Men in all seasons and stages of marriage have gone through Holy Desires — from strong marriages that wanted to grow, to marriages in deep crisis. The formation meets you where you are. If you're unsure, reach out to me directly at [email protected] and we can talk about whether this is the right fit and timing for you.
I've struggled with pornography. Is this the right program?
Yes. Many men in Holy Desires have dealt with porn use — past or present. The REWIRE bonus addresses the neuroscience of addiction and practical strategies for freedom. The formation itself also helps by replacing a distorted vision of sex with God's vision. If you're in active addiction and need additional support and accountability, I'm happy to point you toward resources alongside the program.
Does my wife need to be involved?
No. Holy Desires is designed for you. Many of the breakthroughs men experience happen because they changed how they showed up — not because their wife did anything differently. That said, if your wife is interested in her own formation, Sarah's program My Delight is designed for Catholic wives.
Is the content explicit?
The content is direct and practical, especially in Module 5. I discuss anatomy, technique, and pleasure honestly, because vague advice doesn't help anyone. Everything is grounded in reverence for your wife and for the sacrament. There is no explicit imagery; there are some line drawings such as you might imagine would be in a medical or anatomy textbook. Think of it as the frank conversation you'd have with a trusted mentor who also happens to be a faithful Catholic.
When are the coaching calls?
Calls are held Saturday mornings at 8 am Pacific / 11 am Eastern. The Spring 2026 class starts on March 28. All calls are recorded and posted in the community. The full schedule is below.
March 28
April 4 - skip for Holy Saturday
April 11
April 18
April 25
May 2
May 9 - Nathan has a conflict this date
May 16
May 23
May 30
What if I can't make the live calls?
Every call is recorded and posted within 24 hours. You can also submit questions ahead of time and I'll address them on the call. Many men participate by watching the replays, submitting questions separately, and participating in the community. They make just as much progress as men who attend the calls live.
How much time should I expect to invest each week?
Plan for about 2 hours per week: roughly 30–60 minutes of video content, plus the weekly coaching call (about 60 minutes). The rest happens naturally in your marriage as you practice what you're learning.
What's the difference between Holy Desires and Holy Desires Premium?
Both include the full formation, weekly coaching calls, the brotherhood, and all bonuses. Premium adds 3 one-on-one coaching sessions with me and lifetime access to all materials. Premium is limited to 10 spots per class.
Will everything I share be kept confidential?
Absolutely. What's shared on the coaching calls and in the brotherhood stays there. This is a space built on trust, and every man in the group is expected to honor that.
What is your refund policy?
Due to the intimate and personal nature of the material, all sales are final. I stand fully behind the formation, and I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] before enrolling if you have any hesitation. I'd rather help you decide before you invest than have you regret it after.
I have another question.
Reach out to me directly at [email protected] or reply to any of the emails you may have received from me. I'm happy to talk.
